Trauma is a deeply ingrained aspect of the human experience, often hidden beneath the surface of daily life. While many people are aware of the emotional toll trauma can take, there are aspects of this complex phenomenon that often go unnoticed. Trauma is not always a result of a single event. • Trauma is commonly […]
In recent years, a novel approach to therapy has been making waves in the world of mental health treatment: Ketamine-Assisted Therapy (KAT). This innovative therapeutic method involves the controlled administration of the anesthetic drug ketamine in a therapeutic setting to help individuals struggling with a range of mental health conditions. While it might sound unconventional, […]
Loneliness – Trying Something New – Part 2 In the last post, we looked at an overview of loneliness and began the discussion around asking ourselves “where am I in terms of feeling lonely?” The answer may have come easily to you or it may have taken a great amount of soul-searching and stepping back […]
You are Not Alone – Part 1 A theme that keeps popping up for me lately is ‘loneliness’. Loneliness on an individual scale. And loneliness on a societal level. It seems our lives are busier than we may want, yet authentic connection with others is absent from the busyness. Somehow, something is desiring for us […]
Summer can be a challenging I know that summer can be a challenging time for many individuals who may be struggling with their mental health or who may be wanting to change aspects of their mental health. Whether it’s seasonal affective disorder (SAD), anxiety, or depression, the change of season and warmer temperatures can exacerbate […]
When we’re really busy in our daily lives, it can feel almost impossible to prioritize self-care. Even hearing the word ‘self-care’ may bring up a variety of responses for different people. However, it may be supportive to remember that taking care of ourselves is essential for our overall well-being and can actually make us more […]
The daily grind sometimes seems to just build up and build up over time. We often don’t realize how much we are carrying or how much pressure we are experiencing until something minute tips the scale. When that happens, we may become increasingly aware of the discomfort, emotional or physical, that is present for us. […]
I am continually intrigued at the role our physical bodies hold in our emotional responses to difficult situations. The fact that two, almond-sized parts in our brains, called the amygdala, help us to respond in life-saving ways when we sense life-threatening danger is quite profound to me. Sometimes though, those tiny brain parts influence our […]
Individual therapy is a form of therapy in which the client is treated on a one-on-one basis with a therapist. The most popular form of therapy, individual therapy may encompass many different treatment styles including psychoanalysis and cognitive-behavioral therapy. Individual therapy allows the therapist and client to focus on each other, building a rapport and […]
Love is a top priority when thinking about entering into a long-term committed relationship. In fact, 88 percent of Americans report that love is the most important reason to consider getting married. We want to feel loved by, and be in love with, our partner. Relationships are faced with more pressure than ever before. In […]
The Dunning-Kruger effect is a type of cognitive bias in which people believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are. Essentially, low ability people do not possess the skills needed to recognize their own incompetence. The combination of poor self-awareness and low cognitive ability leads them to overestimate their own capabilities. […]
One thing that has become really clear this year is how we respond to stress, uncertainty and overwhelm. Research suggests that most of us fall into one of two camps; over-functioning or under functioning. It also shows that we may over-function in one area of our life and under-function in another. In the early days […]
I wish I was writing this from some higher level place, where I have transcended struggle and have everything “figured out.” But let’s get real here – does anyone truly have it figured out? This year has been full of struggle for me and many of those around me. Parts of the life I knew […]
One thing that we can count on in life is that things are always in a state of change, fluctuating day to day and moment to moment. As someone who loves to be in control I will be the first to admit that I don’t usually openly embrace change. I like predictability, certainty and structure. […]
Relationships with our significant others is more important than ever. We are able to better get through the uncertainties of life TOGETHER than we are alone. We are wired for connection and thrive when our needs for it are adequately met. This is why I challenge you to spend some time really investing in your […]
I recently came across a term called toxic positivity. It is defined as an overly excessive generalization of an optimistic or happy state, where one is expected to remain positive in all situations. This term strongly resonated with me, especially since we are going through a pandemic. I have seen countless social media posts about […]
We are living in a time of massive uncertainty and vulnerability. No one has any definite answers and we don’t know what things will look like next week, let alone six months from now. Unfortunately, this can be a breeding ground for feelings of overwhelming anxiety, depression and even panic. I don’t want to downplay […]
COVID-19 has begun to take over our lives in ways we could have never imagined. Life two weeks ago is much different than right now and it’s hard to know what to expect next. Chances are that things will get worse before they get better and that feels HARD. When something new happens in our […]
“There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.” – Tony Robbins It was late spring during the second semester of my graduate program. I was just finishing up my first practicum (where we were able to practice doing therapy) and thought everything was going great. I was getting all A’s in the […]
I wanted to take some time to talk about “self-care.” You’ve heard the term before and I think it is often overused and misunderstood. Some people believe it has to be some regular grandiose gesture, like going to the spa every week. That would be great, but it’s not necessary. Here are some tips on […]
Is it easier for you to focus on or notice the things that went wrong in your day? The things that made you feel bad? Do negative events from the past seem to stick more than positive ones? If you answered yes to any of these, congratulations – you are human! Studies have found that […]
The concept of learned helplessness began to emerge in psychology in the late 1960’s after being studied by Martin Seligman. His initial studies involved dogs and electric shock – so I will spare you the details – but what they found is that if we have been exposed to a negative situation repeatedly we may […]
I was watching a fascinating documentary the other day about the concept of functional medicine. If you’ve never heard of this term before I’ll quickly break down the differences between functional medicine and traditional Western medicine. Traditional medicine heavily relies on diagnostics, looking for the best label to describe symptoms that are happening. From there […]
With Valentine’s Day approaching I thought I’d take some time to talk about love and how to feel more of it in your relationship. The 5 Love Languages is a concept and book created by Gary Chapman. The idea is that we all have different ways that we perceive and receive love. Often times we […]
A few years ago we had a family member who was dealing with some serious medical issues. One day in particular we found ourselves waiting to see if they might need to take a flight to get emergency surgery. I asked my husband to text me every hour to give me an update, even if […]
When someone comes to see me for depression I spend time listening to their story to distinguish whether the depression is situational or not. Almost always there is something that is causing it or at least contributing to a person’s depressive state. This could be something that happened to them or a deep rooted negative […]
The term “toxic masculinity” keeps finding its way into social media threads and now even advertisements. This term is widely misconstrued to mean masculinity is bad or toxic, which really misses the point. Masculinity as well as femininity are not inherently good or bad and much of how we define gender is actually more of […]
As a couples clinician one of the most common mistakes I see are couples that have waited far too long to work on their relationship. Often one person already has a foot out the door (or both feet) and much of our time is spent trying to convince them to reinvest or re-engage in the […]
Research in the last ten years has disproven the theory that the brain is unchangeable after we become adults. What they have in fact discovered is that the brain is able to create new neural networks and pathways, something that has been termed “neuroplasticity”. This means that we are able to change our thoughts, behaviors, […]
“This is going to be the year I finally _________” (fill in the blank). How many of us have said these exact words at the start of a new year? Or maybe it wasn’t the start of a new year, but a time when we really wanted to make a change. Statistics tell us that […]
It was 2008 and I was going to school to get my degree in Clinical Counseling. The program I was in highly encouraged us to seek out our own therapy so we could experience it firsthand. I had insurance at the time so I did what most people do and got the names of three […]
I didn’t realize I had anxiety for a long time until I got to graduate school. When I was working toward getting my degree in clinical counseling, it dawned on me how anxiety was inexplicably interwoven into my everyday life. Anxiety was just hiding under its alias– perfectionism. I had always been a high performer, […]
Maybe you’ve been to counseling before but haven’t been in while. Or maybe you are considering setting up your first appointment ever. Before you make your appointment official, here are five things you need to know. 1. Relationship is the biggest indicator in therapeutic success. This sounds really obvious but it is such a key […]
Trust Factor #7: Generous Assumption This is one of my favorite trust factors and one I try to use regularly in all areas of my life. A generous assumption means we are giving others the benefit of the doubt until we have more information. If someone cuts me off in traffic I will often create […]
Trust Factor #6: Non-Judgment Non-judgment is so important in creating meaningful and deep relationships. It is creating the sense that you can ask for your needs, someone else can ask for their needs and we can talk about it without judgment. I talk to couples about this all of the time. It’s not about necessarily […]
Trust Factor #5: Integrity This factor seems like common sense to me and fits in with a lot of the other trust factors. Integrity requires that we do what is right over what is fun, fast or easy. This plays into our boundaries, ability to be reliable, take accountability and keep the confidences of others. […]
Trust Factor #4: Vault. Vault means you don’t share information that is not yours to share. To build, create and maintain trust we need to know that what we share with people in confidence will be kept in confidence. The interesting part about gossiping or sharing things we shouldn’t is that often times it is […]
Trust Factor #3 The third factor that is a part of creating and maintaining trust is accountability. Accountability seems like common sense but it is not always common practice. This requires us to take an introspective look at ourselves and own up to our mistakes. It’s admitting we were wrong, making a heartfelt apology AND […]
Factor #2; Reliability. Reliability seems like an obvious factor in creating and maintaining trust with others. It requires us to do what we say we are going to do. This means showing up – both when we say we are going to and when things get tough. This also means not over-promising. For example, saying […]
This post is inspired by the work of Brené Brown who has dedicated a portion of her research to finding out what creates and maintains deep levels of trust. Factor #1: Boundaries. We’ve all heard this word before yet many of us struggle to follow through with them in our day to day lives. Boundaries […]
Letting go. It sounds so simple yet is profoundly hard for most of us. Try as we might we end up in the same cycle with the same feelings and then beat ourselves up for our inability to move forward. This can lead to feelings of helplessness, anxiety, depression or even suicidal thoughts. Understanding our […]
This is one of the most impactful changes you can start to make in your life right now. Living intentionally. This means having a direction for your life, even if at times it gets a little off track. This may feel overwhelming to think about at first but if you start to chunk it down […]
I’ve been seeing a therapist for a while to help decrease my anxiety. We generally just talk, but, today, we tried something new. Well, it was new for me, anyway. He’s been using eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy for a number of years with his other clients. We did a session today using […]
